childhood dreams are made of this . . .

holding court

butterfly flying high

Cassie is 2

. . .

If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you. - Randy Pausch

Randy Pausch lost his battle with pancreatic cancer this morning. Tony Snow, my brother's college classmate, lost his battle with colon cancer just a few days ago. Two inspiring men in the prime of their lives and careers. Men who had so much to live for: courageous wives, young children just beginning their journeys to adulthood. Men who taught us so much about how to celebrate our last days of life . . .

Daddy had those same reasons for living . . . Someone somewhere once told me his wish was to live through that one summer. He did.

He was a man of few words, but even had he not been, I don't know that he, or we, would have found the words to say what needs to be said when you know you, or someone you love, have/has so little time left on this earth.

His world was a world before the stages of grief had been named, before talking about dying was a good thing to do. But, deep in memory, there are indelible pieces of that summer:

* watching him hold my daughter, his first grandchild, and knowing that, because he would not want us to remember his wasting frailty, I could hold that picture only in memory, only as long as I drew breath . . .

* listening to his stories, the weekend before his surgery--Grandpa saving him from the fire--stories about love never judging . . .

* holding my breath when he tried, the weekend before his surgery, to pour a life's wisdom about running a business into my so-confused brain (fortunately my mother had the clarity of vision, courage, and determination to build on his legacy) . . .

* knowing that he, on his one best weekend of that summer, watched as man first set foot on the moon . . .

* spending one last night in a chair in his hospital room and being welcomed, through his coma, with a veryslowmotion wink the next morning . . .

Many years later/ago, I dedicated my dissertation in this way:
to my father,
who nourished my dreams,
and my mother,
who gave me courage . . .

I would like to think that those three fine young men, fathers, nourishers of dreams in their children--Randy, Tony, and Jimmy--will find each other somewhere in that next world. What stories they could tell each other!

Bet Daddy will take a break from gigging for flounder to be in the bleachers in my hometown when Good Morning America visits next week!

happy ending . . .

I so love a story with a happy ending!

When I picked up my now-leather-seated new car from the dealership this afternoon, my salesperson made my day!

Do you want to know what happened to your car?

Bonny 3, of course. For two weeks now I've been moving on, trying hard not to think about what being relegated to a wholesale fate might say about her prospects for a life after me . . .

My salesperson has found a family member of his own willing to adopt her!

He's picking her up later today!

And I'm smiling . . . Bet Bonny is too . . .

I so love a story with a happy ending!

the innocence of childhood--reprise

beach week memories

exploring (webkinz)

playing games (Xbox, Wizard, Five Crowns, poker, bridge, Chinese checkers, . . .)

swimming

feasting

beach week memories--summer birthdays

beach week memories--kites flying high

beach week memories--sand castles

music . . .

OK, I'll admit . . . this label was already long overdue when I added it last December.

Maybe it's because music is the one simple pleasure in life that renders me powerless, eludes me, takes me to places and times I can't always come home from, at least not unchanged . . .

Soon after my last cell phone upgrade--maybe the day I downloaded Yo-Yo Ma's rendition of Gabriel's Oboe and made it my ringtone--I added own an mp3 player to my too-long to-do list. I did the research, to the point of deciding that the one I wanted would be a someday purchase--as in when the Christmas debts were paid, after the price came down, etc., etc.

A year and a half later, I've just been (late-birthday) gifted with the very one I wanted--both upgraded and downpriced. I've spent most of today revisiting a modest collection of CD's I rarely make time to enjoy . . .

A gig of downloads and four playlists later, I'm so enjoying this now-simple pleasure.

And going in my mind to other times, other places, other . . . selves . . .

. . . where there is time, there is a circle . . .

7 more reasons to be happy . . .

left-to-right, top-to-bottom

26. Cassie

27. Kelsey

28. Campbell

29. Mason

30. Michael

31. Kira

32. Garrett

beach blues . . .

Full circle again. North Carolina beaches nourished and inspired my childhood dreams. This was the beginning . . .

Back to another North Carolina beach this week . . . with other children with other dreams. A bit bittersweet, though, from this place in time . . .

There's something to be said for the innocence of childhood . . . Need to remember to take this inner child along with me, to let her out to play and wonder and dream . . .